When I was about 3 a massive and very heavy antique mirror fell on me. Luckily my dad's a ninja and I was taught from an early age to catch heavy objects by falling on my back with my legs and arms up in the air like a bug. Then I just screamed my lungs out until someone came and rescued me.

i almost drank windex when i was kid, i also got shot at and got in a fight with a kid and he pulled a knife on me and my mother dropped me out of our van once when i was a baby as it was backing out of the drive way and i almost got run over.

BTW totally true story 'cept for the ninja part.

i had a gun held to my head in a video store in london 7 years ago.

late fees?

my family escaped europe before the holocaust.

no... i was working.... i deleted my own late fees.

I got into a high speed chase with some crazy asshole in a van in wet weather, came up to a T intersection at 150kph and slid across the highway into a ditch, managed to get out of there and drive off down the highway before dude caught up.

also nearly stepped on a brown snake when i was a kid.

not that exciting really haha.

i had mumps-menangitis when I was about 4/5 and was in hospital for a few weeks.. had some crazy lump, and when I say lump, I mean MOUND, on the side of my neck that was constantly weeping some gunk.. eewwww. I did get a remote control car out of it though!

I also thought I was having a panic/heart attack one night.. sitting on the can when I was a teenager with my heart and head pounding, feeling like an army was marching to the toilet door and when they got there I would die.. so I kept the door closed, freaking out for ages... fuck knows what it was.. i never told my mum stuff til years later cos it worried her too much.

i choked on a lolly when i was 2ish,dad had to shake me upside till it fell out i went blue!

<upside down>

nearly drowned once, nearly fell off a cliff I was climbing up once. Vowed never to do anyhting again.

I nearly drowned when I was small, my Mum rescued me. Also I got bitten on the ear by a spider when I was a little girl. My Mum called the poison hotline and they said if it were poisonous I'd be dead already. It was big and black and nasty looking. The spider, not my ear.

I was allowed to keep it in a jar (the spider, not my ear) so I kept it in there and starved it to death while making fun of it by poking at it and shaking it. Actually, upon reflection, I can't believe I was allowed to do that.

When I was about two my parents were taking me to playgroup in the car, and I got in to the car myself. Mum assumed dad had put me in and dad assumed mum had. I wasn't strong enough to close the door properly, and just tucked the seatbelt under my arm. We came to a roundabout, the door flung open, and I went flying out onto the road. I rolled onto a traffic island just before a bus came.

My parents didn't notice. And kept driving. About 30 seconds later I heard the loudest female scream I've ever heard, and the car screeched to a halt.

when i was about 4 the parentals took us to model world (some kind of amusment park on the north coast of nsw) and my dad took my sister and i on a raft on the lake. the raft capsized, i couldn't swim and there were several minutes (which felt like hours) when i was under water before dad fished me out. that was scary.

another time when i was very young i got choked by a kite string around my neck. it took me ages to get over my choking phobia; i couldn't wear scarves for years.

I was boogie-boarding at a surf beach in NZ once with a bunch of other Cub Scouts and I fell off and was under the water for a while. Coz there were so many kids, they didn't really notice till I got swept onto the beach... I was ok!

CUB SCOUTS? bwhahahaha:)

i also cut my leg with my surfboard fin...........80 stitchers!!

This thread is scarier than a horror film.

i nearly died in the french alps when I underestimated how slippery the ice was and almost fell straight over the boarder into Geneva

I walked up a mountain in lots of snow then all the hostals were closed so i had to work about 10 k further than planned and i was soaked through and then i found out everyone else was told to turn bck because it was impassable but i didn´t cause i´m a tough cunt!

i didn´t really almost die but i kinda wanted to.

Fear of Death.

i almost went to hospital for experimental drug testing.

i don't do it anymore

you never did it in the first place.

sissy.

me and my otha head will have you.

I nearly died! fell off a cliff it wasn't a big cliff but it had star pickets at the bottom. Thankfully i was drunk and didn't care to much about my well being. but i'm still here. WOO! HOO!

when i was a kid i used to sharpen both ends of lead pencils, stick one end into the socket at the end of my stereo's power cord, switch the fucker on and shock myself with 240v. why? fuck knows. why didn't i die? fuck knows.

also, i got rammed from behind at a roundabout once, was thrown into oncoming traffic and narrowly missed being crushed under a semi-trailer. the other cunt sped off and i was left with a dented bumper bar and a rattling muffler.

closest i've come is when i split my head open on a bed on an island in vanuatu with no doctors. i think thats when all the sand got in.

Last near death experience I had was stacking it on a walk (called the Precipice Walk) around a Welsh mountain. I tripped over a stone, fell to the ground and bashed my chin. I then looked to the right of me and laughed hysterically. There was an almost vertical drop of about 200 metres.

I used to fall and bash my head a lot when I was a youngster. off top bunks, out of trees etc. My poor Mum would freak out at first but as I got older I started getting jokes about my thick skull.

Someone nearly died in my arms tonight. Had to give them mouth to mouth and everything. That was weird.

must've been something you said

is that true zadie?!

no and yes in that order.

Bump for Gotye, and also because this thread is awesome and there must be more great stories out there.

I hate you.

Buster nearly died because of a LOOSE SEAL!

Lucille's profile is making me LOL hard. thanks, Lucille.

Fell asleep in a friend's tiny shed after we had been drinking and smoking in there that night. Woke up after a few hours and the shed was full of think smoke. There was a fire under the floor boards, which had probably started from someones cigarette butt. Also had a friend in the shed sleeping the whole time I was ripping up floor boards to get to the fire and have yet to hear a ''thanks for saving my life'' from that person after about 5 years.

are you saying that your friend hasn't displayed any etiquette yet?

the shed was full of think smoke.

Bloody bong heads.

Hit a massive deer at 110km/h in a suzuki swift head on about a fortnight ago. Lucky the thing didnt go thru the windscreen.