Splendour Sludge Report: Coldplay Shitter Than Kanye
News posted Thursday, August 4 2011 at 03:00 PM.
More people lost their shit to Coldplay at last weekend’s Splendour In The Grass festival, than Kanye West. And we don’t mean that figuratively.
A fascinating report into the festival’s sewage system – one of the greenest in the world, apparently – by New Scientist found that following Coldplay’s Sunday evening performance, an estimated 600,000 litres of slurry (in other words: shit and piss) entered the sewage system in an hour-and-a-half, forcing system designer Benjamin Kele (no relation to Bloc Party singer Kele) to keep the plant (like the party) pumping until 6am. On the other hand, after Kanye’s set the night before, a mere 250,000 litres of sludge entered the system.
A few conclusions: Chris Martin’s voice is like some sort of aural laxative; more people watched Coldplay than Kanye; or perhaps, it was just the three days of booze, substance abuse and oily foods taking their toll?
According to New Scientist, an average of two million litres of waste were pumped into the system over two days. After a series of treatments it ends up in a 12-megalitre holding tank resembling a giant lake called "Bonnie Doon". While carbon filters are used to emit odours, the waft of shit was still quite prevalent on the main stage, as M+N reviewer Andrew McMillen so keenly observed in his Splendour day three report:
“Toward the end of their [Pulp's] 60 minutes, the smell of shit wafts across the bowl as two ‘poo crews’ on either side of stage simultaneously empty portaloos, causing [singer Jarvis] Cocker to sarcastically comment on their brilliant timing.”
(Photo by Justin Edwards)