''I remember you, 10 years ago. You were walking down across the tarmac from the plane in your purple knickerbockers. Than you looked at me with those dark clown eyes, I knew at that moment, this was a gay surrender''

This sounds fantastic. I know what i'm doing for the rest of the day

craigslist missed connections is my favourite.

From the Ottawa one:

shy anarchist seeks cute rat enthusiast (Venus Envy)

i've seen you a couple of times, tonight and at the olympics resistance talks at exile a couple months ago.

this evening at venus envy i was going to wait until the movie was over to say hi and introduce myself and tell you that i think you're cute....
but then i really had to get home, and besides, maybe i would have been too shy!

my heart was won by the note reminding you to get rat food written on your hand in permanent marker, your glass jar of coffee (presumably), and the ukelele you were carrying, not to mention your spork keychain. (i pay attention to details, it would seem.)
i was the small one with the pink mohawk and the glasses and the too-low-cut red lace shirt and the maryjanes. may or may not have had adoration in my eyes.

on the off chance that you read this, cute stranger with spork keychain, i'd like to get to know you somehow.

who knows, maybe we have lots in common.
maybe you're into bikini kill too.

hahahahaha

this is going to be interesting.

spork

Fantastic!

Sadly, I have taken to replying to a bunch of them, dispensing unwanted advice and false hope.

Missed connection

i was standing behind u in the queue at the service station and then we somehow met on the road again on tullafreeway.. u gave me a wave as i took the turn to western hwy.. wishing i had have followed u to give my number to u :)
Hoping u read this .. but maybe i am dreaming ..

Waspy, you and I may be dispensing likewise advice as this is one of my great hobbies.

Mein Gott!

> You've gained a tremendous amount of weight - m4w - 34 (Ottawa Valley)

Hey there,

It's been a while since I was here----I wished you a happy birthday not too long ago.
But I bumped into you by chance recently, and you have gained so much weight. It really does not suit you at all.
After I saw you recently, it had been a good 3-4 years since we last saw each other in the parking lot of a certain gym....I am so glad I've detached myself from you---life's been harsh on you.
Interesting how life changes objectives.~

For what it's worth: Please take care of yourself! You owe it to yourself and to your happiness.

Blue Angel

This one is a little bit stalker-ish dont you think -

Girl in Big W Southland -

Met you near the optometry section today, you apologized for your trolley being in the way and I stared dumbly as you were so hot. You left in car GL-289. Would love to see you again.

Concerning.

i saw you at the m+n lunchbox series, you were dressed in a hessian poncho with an aluminium cardigan and talking to your friend with the rayon singlet skirt - i think we made eye contact but your fringe made it hard to tell - you looked so adorable trying to work out how you felt about circle pit, i just wanted to hug you (but that's all) - would love to become m+n friends and maybe if things go well, facebook?

Loved this one -

Hi People,

Its really been a long time since i spoke to my dear friend jason. If anybody has any clue about his wherabouts please reply back to this email.

I really need to talk to jason, i just want to know if he still remembers me. We had a really awesome time in paris.

Cheers,
Maddy

Oh, forgot the heading which was - Looking for Jason Bourne.

i saw you at the m+n lunchbox series, you were dressed in a hessian poncho with an aluminium cardigan and talking to your friend with the rayon singlet skirt - i think we made eye contact but your fringe made it hard to tell - you looked so adorable trying to work out how you felt about circle pit, i just wanted to hug you (but that's all) - would love to become m+n friends and maybe if things go well, facebook?

Hahahaha. Aw, that was me! Did you like my cardy?

Dude who lives below me (Ottawa)

You and your girlfriend live in the apartment below me. I came home about 20 minutes ago and could easily see you bent over the couch getting banged by a dude in your living room. Next time be sure to close your vertical blinds all the way when getting nailed with the lights on, or at least angle them away from the parking lot, or maybe take it into the bedroom. FYI: I hooked up with the same dude a year ago, and though he's got a pretty big tool, he did give me crabs. Yes, I'm sure it is the same dude. His tattoos are unmistakable. Anyway, I suggest a full bottle of Rid-X before the girlfriend gets back in town.

Hahaha.

Wanted: a romanian girl went to dandenong vsl on saturday three years ago
Dandenong VIC 3175 view on map

Date Listed:
13/04/2013
Last Edited:
13/04/2013

she is tall and have a big forehead ,i was oppsite her classroom,we talked once ,i thinkher name is Ashley ,she is very tall and pretty,she has a big forhead and i saw her once on 900,i think her name is ashley

Wanted: your name begins with T or S
Hobart TAS view on map

Date Listed:
15/04/2013
Last Edited:
15/04/2013

every time I eat an apple I ask it for the letter of my future husband. I'm getting a little pushed to find him as my clock is ticking and I would like at least three children. This is why I did two today. I think your name will begin with either T or S
please contact me asap
if you fit this description,
Bambi

Oh my god. You have to post links.

Gladly!

First one: http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/dandenong/missed-connections/a-romanian-girl-went-to-dandenong-vsl-on-saturday-three-years-ago/1016912070

Second one: http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/hobart-cbd/missed-connections/your-name-begins-with-t-or-s/1017808588

I should demand more from my apples

If you fit this description! What your name starts with t or s? Jeez

classic GT. absolutely sterling. words can't express

your mums band is looking to make a music video!

these sorts of ads remind me of my mortality and bum me out...

We have experience in live performing but want an edge and want a video clip done for our website.

an edge
an edge
an edge

hilarious.

Just looking for a reliable driver to drop me off to work 8.00am and pick me up 5.30pm from doveton to ferntree gully monday top friday.....if you want some extra money email me ....I ONLY HIRING FEMALES THAT I CAN GET ALONG WITH....PRICE $50-80 A WEEK NEG

What are you waiting for ladies...

WOW

Has this been shared before?

Magnificent

Shouldn't have looked at his blog. The one trick ponyism ruins it all

Oh I was about to post that card ad - amazing!

http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/fitzroy/tables/ugly-table-free-to-good-home-/1019735679

too. good.

must have been a quick sale on the condoms, luckily the childcare is still available.

Looks trustworthy. Cant say much for intelligence.

Ah, why'd you post that pic yoghurt? I had to turn my monitor upside down to see it