Features
The Hottest 100 In Haiku
By EDWARD SHARP-PAUL and DOUG WALLEN
Original page credit: Mess+Noise
EDWARD SHARP-PAUL and DOUG WALLEN react to the Aussie winners of the 2013 Hottest 100 – all 44 of them – using the purest form of expression: haiku.
[Historical image is withheld pending rights review.]
100. Karnivool ‘We Are’
Cymbal clangs
Alien polyrhythms
Your children?
Our children now
98. Horrorshow ‘Dead Star Shine’
Everything fits
These guys make it look easy
It’s not, remember
96. Big Scary ‘Luck Now’
Choppy hip-hop drums
A dusty old piano
Young adult ennui
95. Vance Joy ‘Play with Fire’
Tried not to say “folk”
I’ve already failed … oh well
Throw Grammys at him
94. Bliss N Eso ‘House of Dreams’
Marvel reference?
Rhyme “oasis” and “spaceship”?
Holy fucking shit
91. RÜFÜS ‘Tonight’
Conceived in a vat
Vangelis’ and Darude’s sprog
Pass me a premix
89. The Cat Empire ‘Brighter Than Gold’
Baron Samedi
Is a pretty good singer
Maybe snake bites help
88. Josh Pyke ‘Leeward Side’
Guess what? No, really
Clean-cut memories and dust
That’s what. Did you guess?
87. John Butler Trio ‘Only One’
As emotive as
A zombie horde
Thanks for the metaphor
Zombie John
85. Remi ‘Sangria’
Confident young man
Fond of jazz flute, no Myki
Leading youth astray
84. British India ‘Summer Forgive Me’
I threw a barbie
We listened to your new song
You are forgiven
83. The Jezabels ‘The End’
Look down, never up
But take the chorus sky-high
Back on the chain gang
82. Cloud Control ‘Dojo Rising’
Lovely indie pop
Logistics are difficult
In Bolivia
81. Andy Bull ‘Baby I am Nobody Now’
He should wash that synth
It cries like a sexy droid
Electric sorrow
80. Panama ‘Always’
Sound familiar?
Hey, we’ll always have ‘Always’
Well … until next year
77. Illy feat. Ahren Stringer ‘Youngbloods’
Seize the day, all y’all
“Whoa ohhhh,” says Dorian Gray
Bigger? Bigger-er
76. SAFIA ‘Listen to Soul, Listen to Blues’
Riots in the streets
Abbott ousted from power
A soultronic force
70. Sticky Fingers ‘Australia Street’
Lads running amok
Hipster bogan reggae raps
Don’t deserve haiku
68. Something for Kate ‘Sweet Nothing’
What is this shit?
Cover Calvin and Florence?
Leave your soul indeed
67. Bliss N Eso ‘Act Your Age’
Bluejuice in the house
Clash of the fucking titans
It’s chillmate gone wild
66. Illy ‘Aus Music Month Medley’
If you hate skip hop
And the Js used to be cool
Your head just melted
65. Chet Faker feat. Kilo Kish ‘Melt’
Oh, if beards could talk
And duets could quell turmoil
So much to yearn for
63. Disclosure ‘You & Me’ (Flume Remix)
From cereal box
To ARIAs and much more
This counts as Aussie?
57. Andy Bull ‘Keep on Running’
Bye-bye piano
Enter synth, beats, falsetto
But still so catchy
55. Boy & Bear ‘Harlequin Dream’
From folk to Dire Straits
Underrated, dare I say?
No, you say? Aw shucks
53. Kingswood ‘Ohio’
Righteous faux-hick blues
Borrowed Auerbach’s holler
And his home state too
52. Cloud Control ‘Scar’
Hitchhiking nowhere
That lump in his throat still there
Baggy goes the chorus
48. Flight Facilities feat. Micky Green, ‘Stand Still’
Clean the garage, kid
Life is a drag when you’re young
But wonders await
44. Dustin Tebbutt ‘The Breach’
Tebbutt tastes success
Mood soured by a lawsuit sent
From a log cabin
41. Boy & Bear ‘Southern Sun’
Under Southern sun
But thunder only happens
When it’s raining, no?
40. The Amity Affliction ‘Born to Die’
Screamo has brainwave!
A piss-take of a pastiche?
Oh, very funny
39. San Cisco ‘Get Lucky’
Clean shiny sparkle
Party hats and fairy bread
No crusts on mine, sir
38. Touch Sensitive ‘Pizza Guy’
Night delivery
Extra anchovies, perhaps?
Nope, just 12 inches
34. RÜFÜS ‘Desert Night’
We’re all incomplete
Karaoke so lonely
Et tu, RÜFÜS?
32. Thundamentals ‘Smiles Don’t Lie’
Hip-hop romantics
Stuck sweatin’ in the kitchen
Rhyming “well” and “well”
30. Empire of the Sun ‘Alive’
Frank Herbert’s regret
Euphoric idio-pop
Fish in a barrel
22. Birds of Tokyo ‘Lanterns’
You sir! You can be
A hero
Just for one day
But not today
Soz
21. RÜFÜS ‘Take Me’
Facepaint? Check. Synths? Check.
Tropical but not too tropical
Déjà RÜFÜS?
19. The Kite String Tangle ‘Given the Chance’
Sighs were sighed, dreams dreamed
Oh once upon a tangle
It could have been worse
14. Violent Soho ‘Covered in Chrome’
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah and breathe
9. The Preatures ‘Is This How You Feel?’
Fleetwood Mac flashbacks
Preaturing to the choir but
Non-guilty pleasure
8. Matt Corby ‘Resolution’
Bearded falsetto
Poncho and fingerpicking
Serious Artist
5. Flume & Chet Faker ‘Drop the Game’
Just Harley and Nick
Buddies inventing genres
Pretty wet night roads
1. Vance Joy ‘Riptide’
Oh Peter Carey
You called it Bliss, he turned it
To festival folk
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