Track by Track: You Beauty

To celebrate the vinyl re-release of You Beauty’s rugby-league concept album ‘Jersey Flegg’, singer/lyricist WILL FARRIER gives us ‘In the Dressing Room’, a play-by-play analysis of the story running through the album.

[Historical image is withheld pending rights review.]

We’re looking at about 1998 here, in the grotty inner-west suburbs of Sydney. It might be helpful if you YouTube some Channel 9 footy commentary to get your bearings (try Raiders V Bulldogs in the ’94 grand final perhaps) but whatever, you’ll figure it out. It isn’t about footy anyway, as you will see if you can spare us five minutes you little go-getters.

‘Jersey Flegg’

So this fella, the ‘hero’ of our story if you like, used to kill it in the big league – he was a legend in the making – but he’s lost his touch and is now playing out his twilight years in the reserves. The younger players who are full of promise and desire to make it keep their distance because he represents the failed dreams they don’t want to have.

They say I’ve done the best I was gonna do
I got some games behind me I know it’s true
I’m off the field by four in the afternoon
Watch the boys kick home from the dressing room

‘Mennal Mondays’

But while they normally steer clear of this washed-up old trout, they can’t deny it was him who they grew up worshiping in the under-10s. So after the game and a couple of schooies in, they pull up to his table to get him hammered and hear about his former glory. He knows they’re having a bit of a stab but if they’re buying who’s gonna complain? It’s enough to get reminiscing about better times.

They wanna know ’bout ’93
When everything looked so good for me
I’d pull up to the ground in my LTD
Wood-grain on the dash and leather seats

‘Scent of My Youth’

So now he’s drunk and got to ruminating on the past. He’s going all the way back ... to the person who first put a Steeden in his hands and the footy dream in his head: his old man. Watching the game on TV, his Pa’s mud-splattered footy boots, this is where it all started. As he gets older and his career gets going, his dad isn’t around so much but whenever he picks up a ball and heads out into a roaring stadium he can always feel the old bloke’s presence.

It’s the only time I see him now
On Saturday mornings at the oval
Since Ma kicked him outta home because of the drink

‘Ann-Maree’

So this wee flashback is snowballing now and he’s reliving the time when it all came together, when the stars came out to affirm his right to the throne of life ... when he fell head-over-studs IN LOVE. As a slap on the wrist for testing positive for an illicit substance, he gets sent to a children’s television awards night to make community relations good. There he meets a vivacious blonde TV presenter* and is overcome by her disarming, girly good looks – she with his meaty body and tender eyes.

The rest is a whirlwind ... she’s up in the boxes watching him play for the Winnie Cup, he’s quitting on his side girls, missing training to be with her, and finally, getting on that scarred knee and popping the big question.

Now that I’ve found you
You’ll never go it alone again Ann-Maree

[ *All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Besides, we don’t have any money; we initially gave the album away for free so it’s not like you’d be getting much if we gave you a cut. Please direct all new lawsuits to Rice is Nice Inc.]

‘Now Her Skirt’

(Warning, generally depressing themes of a romantic nature to follow)

Nothing lasts forever, but some things don’t last at all. Just as he’s put a ring on it and the good things are settling around him ... it all falls apart. Arriving at the TV studio to pick his girl up for a romantic dinner at a fine Italian establishment (they do a great veal involtini), he spies her getting personal with her work colleague ... and they aren’t practicing their lines if you know what I mean. It’s back to weekends chasing thrills in the Cross I guess. :(

Guess a puppeteer’s trained to have his hands up things,
Now her skirt

‘Crummy Thoughts’

Shit ain’t good when you’re heartbroken. He’s drunk at training, missing passes and mucking up the big plays. You blame him? You wanna stand in his shoes? It’s easy to call athletes names from the safety of a big crowd, isn’t it? Yeah mate, back away, that’s right, thought so...

Went to training drunk ... fuck it,
Had to have a spew in the oranges bucket

‘Drop Me Now’

You know when you want to punch yourself in the head for being such a dope? It’s bloody hard to get the angle right though.

Why not one man against himself?
Teach a lesson to this son of a bitch
Remind of the things that he once felt.

‘Healin’ Spirit’

Okay, flashback over, cut to present, i.e. ’98. When the liquor has worn off and you’re tender in the morning like a new sprig of mildewed grass, you don’t feel so up to putting on a tough front. That’s when the unhappy thoughts come and old mate gets visited by apparitions of his former lover pleading him to come back.

She whispers so close I can feel
Baby come back to me pleassseee.

‘Rabbits’

Pissed out in the gutter in front of some dive in the city he’s visited by another ghost of his former life ... this one’s real though. It’s Ray ‘Rabbits’ Warren, NRL commentator since god knows when and a giant of the game – a bit of a sacred figure for the boys, you could say. Although he nearly doesn’t recognise our lad from all the damage he’s inflicted on himself with the bottle, when he does he stops and gives him a bloody good shakedown.

Yeah, you may think it unlikely that such a confirmed figure of vicious masculinity would sit down with a beaten man and tell him that forgiveness is not only the way to work through heartbreak, but that it’s the true mark of manliness – that holding on to the injury of adultery only feeds your pain – but like I said, sue the label not us.

That’s what Rabbits tells our mate.

Do you want to feel like a real man now?
Then find a way to forgive her somehow...
Yeah she stuffed it up but you’re still all alone

‘Off the Bench’

So for once in his life he listens. He picks up the phone and calls Ann-Maree, a little older, and coming towards the end of the fame rollercoaster herself, but there’s still that same baby voice sparkling through from the other end. And she’s sorry, just like he’s sorry, and they agree to put it behind them and start again. Not to aim for the bright lights that briefly illuminated the tangling of their lives, but to just get on with it, have what they have and not to waste any more time thinking about anything else.

And that’s enough for our hopeless hero to get back in the game as well. He’s not going to climb back to those dizzying heights of flood-lit first-grade footy. But he’s gonna have a bloody good crack at reserves this year ... and get off the bench once and for all.

There’s no roar from the crowd this time round
But in my chest I’m exploding again
And it’s not just the lap around the park
Although that makes its mark...
There’s someone in my heart
Off the bench
I got off the bench.

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‘Jersey Flegg’ is out now on limited vinyl and digitally through Rice is Nice. Read Mitchell Judge’s On Rotation review and Troy D Colvin’s interview with Will. Launch dates below.

Sat, Nov 15 – The Haunt, Brisbane, QLD [w/Workshop + DeadShred]
Sat, Nov 29 – GoodGod Small Club, Sydney, NSW [w/Setec]
Sun, Nov 30 – The Evelyn, Melbourne, VIC [arvo show, w/Tim Richmond + Magic Steven]