Record Reviews
Kiss Me Once
By Edward Sharp-Paul
Kylie’s new album, executive-produced by Sia, is her strongest in years. EDWARD SHARP-PAUL reviews it in haiku.
[Historical image is withheld pending rights review.]
Why even review a Kylie album? We know it’ll be broad-church pop, assembled by (not-too) cutting-edge producers and sung by a small, very likeable woman with a limited voice. There are only a few questions to be answered: Is there more filler or less filler? Are the singles good or terrific? Is there a cutesy vibe or a sex-kitten vibe?
Well, there’s less filler, the singles are terrific, and there’s a heavy sex-kitten vibe. It’s the Platonic ideal of assembly-line pop. I could have fleshed that out by 400 words, but here are some haiku instead.
‘Into the Blue’
Committed to her craft
Robot inside her larynx
Sexy pop android
‘Million Miles’
‘Hunted By a Freak’?
Ha! Tricked you. Ageless dance-pop
glory, like Kylie
‘I Was Gonna Cancel’
Imagen Kiely make
Modarn album? Pharel
Production credit
‘Sexy Love’
Blue-light disco
A big hoo-ha
Kylie just stole
Katy Perry’s crown
‘Sexercise’
Single entendre
Olivia Newton-John
You must be blushing
‘Feels So Good’
Goldfrapp invented
Electro-shuffle, thank you
Goldfrapp, love Kylie
‘If Only’
Ariel Rechtshaid
A long name, bad for haiku
Good for ’80s pop
‘Les Sex’
So Kylie, tell me
What do you think of sex?
Do you like it?
‘Kiss Me Once’
A national treasure
Our singing budgie; Sia
Kylie’s good as well
‘Beautiful’
Damp Auto-Tune duet
Enrique Iglesias
Do you make tender love
with your little beanie on?
‘Fine’
Vague synth-pop uplift
Trickle of slow sadness
Unearthed bands, take notes
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