Collider

Inspired by the debut album from Brisbane shoegaze band Roku Music, TIM FITZPATRICK takes a unique approach to reviewing it.

[Historical image is withheld pending rights review.] “Fucking get a real job,” she said.

All I was doing was waiting for her to come home from work so I could tell her about this new album I’d come across that afternoon. I figured she’d like it, and I couldn’t wait to put it on for her. The beer I’d just necked could’ve added to that excitement, but I was sure this was a good record and so there I was, in my undies, sitting at the kitchen table, Collider playing over the top of the 6 o’clock news.

I was sure she’d be into it. This was the kind of music we listened to together. The kind of music we fell in love to. We had two CDs in our van when we were driving around Europe – Loveless and the first Dead Meadow album. That was all we needed. But then there was this.

“This was going to be special, I could tell. This was going to be the next soundtrack of our lives.”

I thought I’d start the record just before she got home, which was usually around this time, and maybe crack open a bottle of wine. Let it all sink in. Let that washing gaze of Roku Music make for a nice haze. Maybe cook up a chicken tikka masala or whatever. Either way, ‘Collider’ would start it off nicely, easing in with some soft floating vocals before the drums kick in. That nice steady tempo that leaves enough space for some pretty constant use of the tremolo arm. This was going to be special, I could tell. This was going to be the next soundtrack of our lives.

I don’t know: if it was shit then I’d tell her it was shit. I figured she’d respect that and we’d move on. It’s just words, and words have different meanings and all that. But this is good, damn good. Good like James Brown sitting in the lotus position in a purple glitter jumpsuit with his eyes closed, humming to the slow mantra of ‘Gold’.

Summer’s gone, the days are getting shorter, the music is getting more and more chilled. I could walk out into the rain on my way to the supermarket and start off with ‘No One Else’ and be fine. I could picture her listening to ‘Gold’ to calm down in between meetings at her ‘real’ job. Maybe she’d even turn some of her office friends onto it. I don’t know, maybe they’d do whatever they do to celebrate after closing the Johnson account (or whatever it is they do at work). Maybe they’d watch the clip for ‘Reflector’ and have visions of pulsating cats with pyramids swirling around on the walls every time they hear the song.

But no, she didn’t want to hear it.

“I don’t like reviews,” she said.
“What? Who said anything about a review?” I said, shocked.
But she didn’t want to hear it, she said I talk about music too much and that I should just listen.

It was then I realised she’d never understand. How could she? That bitterness was creeping in and the light in her eyes was fading. All she needs to do is let Roku Music tell her it’s alright. Everything is alright.

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‘Collider’ is out now on CD, vinyl and name-your-price download through Sonic Masala. Remaining launch tour dates below.

Fri, April 11 – The Roundy, Murwillumbah, NSW
Sat, April 12 – The Bird, Perth, WA
Sun, April 13 – Mojo, Fremantle, WA
Thurs, April 17 – Todd Tavern, Alice Springs, NT
Fri, April 18 – Happy Yess, Darwin, NT
Sat, April 19 – The Underdog, Brisbane, QLD